Its Coming up to midnight here, I intended to go to bed over an hour ago and by golly I did, but I'm just not tired, so I've fired all the gear up again, I'm writing with a clouded warped vision of life at the moment, with everything imploding around me, I can't help but think "Why Bother?"
But there's more to life than wondering why one bothers, correct?
Ok, I may only have £10 to my name right now, and yeah, with all the turmoil going on, the world can be rough, but as Mr.Cash said at San Quentin all those years back "If A Mans gonna make it, he's gotta be tough" analyzing that statement doesn't necessarily mean you have to be tough physically, it means you've got to be able to withstand whatever life can throw at you, so far, it's thrown a lot at me, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up here, I've seen friends, enemies, workmates and family members come and go, after 18 years, this is just the beginning, and this much has happened, the road is long, but with the right people around you and the right attitude applied in the right places, it isn't all that bad!
I Might say this here, and hell the people I don't want to read this, will read this, but I'll be the first to admit, I don't follow this chain of thought at work, and I'll say why, no matter how i've tried, over the last year or so, I've put my all into what i've done, and especially over the last two or three months, it isn't good enough anymore, all I can do is my best, and if thats not good enough, well, what's the world coming to? I earn my living the same as everyone else at that shop and I've been able to maintain a balance between work & home life, just recently, I'm starting to feel as if my job is threatened, with people lining up to jump in my grave, I know if the best isn't good enough, they have every right to kick me out, and replace me with average Joe whose just been made redundant, just seems as if it's "Dog Eat Dog, Rat eat Rat, kroc style, Boom, Like that"
In these times, can you blame me for thinking like it?
In lighter subjects, I've had a reshuffle of my room today, took a while, whole lot of cleaning, dusting, lifting and the like, but I for the first time used the Effects loop on my AC30, and it just adds a bit more depth and clarity to the tone i get from my setup, less noisy too, it just made me realize why I spent £630 on the thing those years ago, because it's everything I'd ever want from a guitar amp, the perfect tone, the perfect look and for me, the kind of stuff dreams are made of, I stood up today, learning some Beatles tracks, then I learned (Properly, this time around) Have A Cigar by Pink Floyd, what an escape from the world, being able to just stand and play in a care free environment, the Amp cranked to the same volume as a very loud Backing track, switching from Driver, to Distortion, to Fuzz, it was a nice creative escape from life.
Busy week on this week, Wednesday 9pm - 11pm Band practice with Crashpoint ready for a gig I'm standing in for them on Thursday at the Mono Bar in Birmingham, on top of anything else that goes on this week, the gig is one of the bands biggest, so i'll need to be at my peak for it, I'm looking forward to it!
That'll do for now, Maybe I can sleep now :P
Take Care Everyone, You know where I am if you need me!